Who is cuter?
Sep 19Both my boys appear to be quite tired tonight. I can’t determine which one I find cuter. Pardon the cell phone pics, I’m too lazy to get the camera out of my hospital bag.
39 weeks and 1 day. Dum dum dum
Sep 14Well today was *hopefully* my last doctor appointment. Knowing my luck, Gracie is going to make us wait until after the due date though. The appointment went the same as always. I’ve lost 2 lbs and my BP is excellent. If I don’t go into labor before Monday’s appointment then on Monday he’s going to see if I’m dilated at all but he doesn’t want to rush things if my body isn’t ready which I am SO grateful for. I don’t want an induction. I’m also on orders to keep off my feet as much as possible due to the constant pain and swelling in my left foot which is unexplainable. I think I might end up in labor before then or so I’m hoping that these random feelings of twinges in my vagina (TMI yes), back pain, cramps, and the omg I have to pee every 20-30 minutes instead of every hour aren’t just psychological. I’ve definitely noticed it’s a bit tighter to drive with my belly being so rounded out.
Randy’s working overtime tonight which isn’t surprising to me in the least. He likes money. I like the attitude he’s got about working to support myself and Gracie. I see FAR too many relationships built with lazy men mooching off of their women just because they can like Randy’s cousin. She worked until 3 days before her due date. There is NOTHING wrong with women working or both working but her boyfriend should have been working to help instead of lounging around while she supported both of them. It’s ridiculous. Randy and I are on the same page when it comes to me working. He wants me to stay at home with Gracie and he works to support us financially. I help out a bit with ChaCha and I do the majority of the housework. It’s equal to us as a trade off. I just hate seeing girls who do ALL of it such as Randy’s sister, cousin, and a few other people that we know personally. Ah well though. All I can do is live my life and appreciate that I have a good man who is on the same page when it comes to goals and ideals.
With that being said, I’m going to go try to earn the last few dollars on ChaCha before midnight’s monthly payoff cutoff and then organize some more baby clothes/do the dishes. I might decide to put some clothes on as well considering I’m sitting wrapped in a towel right now. There are some perks to being completely alone in the house. ^_^
Court results
Aug 31Well Randy had court this morning and it definitely did not go as planned. Background: He met Carrie in Aug of 06. They got married Oct 06, they split before Thanksgiving 06. She got knocked up by another guy mid Dec 06.
In Jan 07 she filed a spousal support petition and he was supposed to go to court in July of 07 for the ruling. Being in a halfway house, he didn’t. He could’ve been granted permission to leave, done it over the phone, etc.. but he didn’t. They defaulted against him for the amount of $75/week. He got this notice in prison which he was in from Nov 30, 07 until Dec 1, 08. He ended up filing a paternity petition while in to contest that along with a divorce, which never went through due to the paternity issue taking months to resolve. He filed AGAIN for divorce in Dec 08 and it was finally granted in June of 09.
According to the judge, when the divorce was finalized the order was nullified. Since he didn’t file a petition before this time period he is responsible for retroactive spousal support from the period of Jan 07 until May of 09 which is close to 2 1/2 years. At $75/week, it adds up real quick. Nevermind that she had a kid by another man. Or that he never worked once during the entire marriage or relationship whatsoever. Or that he was serving time in prison for a year. Because he didn’t go to court 1 day he is expected to pay that stupid cunt bag over $10,000 for being a whore.
Thanks NY. You really make a lot of fucking sense. She tried saying today they were still married and we had to get an adjournment for 1/2 hr to go pay $12 to get a copy of the divorce from the clerk there. We also had to drive an hour and a half each way to the court house. Poor little Carrie, the victim. She was saying on the way out “I still get money” to someone. It pisses me off because we’re struggling as it is and now she is getting his hard earned money when she doesn’t deserve a goddamned penny of it, especially considering the circumstances. There is nothing he can do to appeal it either because he didn’t show up for court that 1 day (which was 2 1/2 hours away from the HH but that doesn’t matter either apparently).
Independence or lack thereof
Aug 25Independence is something I do not deal with very well. Let me explain a bit. Before Randy I was with my ex, Mike, from March of 05 until Dec of 06. He was emotionally abusive blah blah. We split when Randy came along in Dec 06. I went right from one relationship to the other.
Then Randy was taken from me to jail a week into the relationship. He did a month there, followed by a month in rehab, and then 6 months in a halfway house which was never completed. This led to a violation of probation and in November he went to prison for a year. I learned to be independent in that year with having to do everything from bring in money to calling the prisons for information/policies, ensuring things went smoothly for his homecoming, etc. I got used to knowing everything was in my hands and no one was there to help me. I was fine with only talking to him once a day or less if it had to be. I even went to MD for 3 days with no contact. He was the needy one. However, it didn’t make it any easier to see him for 6 hours at a time and have to turn my back and watch him stand in a line for a strip search after each visit.
Then in November he came home and I think I have a fear that the cops are going to show up again and take him from me. When he left in November of ’07 we were sleeping when the cops showed up. My dad called up to come downstairs. Randy stood up, threw a pair of pants on, looked down the ladder of the loft and said bye. I got down there and they were already breathalizing and handcuffing him. I will never get that image out of my mind.
I get incredibly antsy if I don’t know exactly where he is at any given time. I insist we go to doctor appointments together along with stores and pretty much any errands. I don’t mind doing the shopping or whatever with him in the car but I need to know where he is. Every time he goes into parole for a check in I fear he’s going to not come out. It was a big feat last week when I left for 3 hours to go to the store and do shopping while he stayed home. It’s driving both of us crazy. The clinginess gets to him but he deals fairly well with keeping me calm. Today for example he left at 10:30 to go with his friend to get some arrows in a town 20 minutes away. I woke up at 1:35 and he wasn’t home. I called and they had stopped at his dad’s to patch the tire but had to wait for him to arrive. It was 3 hours and I was wigging out. The thought of him getting his license back terrifies me too because then he really can come and go whenever. I’m also going to state here, it’s not an issue of worrying about infidelity whatsoever.
I just feel like I’m dragging him down. I don’t want to contribute this to hormones because I feel it’s deeper than that. I know he needs to sleep odd hours and that leaves me to do some stuff alone but I fight it if possible. Perhaps it is rooted also in the fact that I do everything he is required to since I am his taxi cab, so I expect the same in return? I can’t pinpoint it. But it sucks.
35 week checkup
Aug 20Alright. Angela of Radkitten.nu has given me 5 words to blog about BUT today I feel like I have an entry to write and random things are racing through my head. I will get around to it, I swear! Maybe once this whole wedding thing has died down.
So tonight I planned on getting home and relaxing with my half a sub from yesterday’s dinner but that didn’t work out quite so well. I also was craving chocolate so I made up some brownies and threw them in the oven. I grabbed my sub and glass of mountain dew and proceeded to sit down at my desk. Then I realized “Whoops, my cell is in my purse” and I need that in case Randy calls for overtime or whatnot. Wearing headphones I reach down to grab it and that full glass of ice cold mountain dew goes allllllllll over. Thankfully the direction it went was the opposite of my tower. I still had to remove everything off of my desk and make sure my mouse and keyboard were safe along with the digital camera. Once I dried crap off I realized that I too was soaked and needed to dry. I was sticky too so to the shower I went. I came back and scrubbed the desk off with some 409 to avoid stickiness for the next few months. I also tidied up a bit since Randy is SO FREAKIN’ MESSY and got comfy on my couch now that I think I have everything I need for the evening. My desk is slid to the couch because it’s easier for me to keep my feet elevated and the fan blows directly on me and I’m always hot.
Speaking of elevated feet I had my 35 week doctor appointment today. Now I go to weekly appointments. That’s scary. By my calculations of Sept 22nd as a due date I’m 35W1D but he said I was 35W3D so he either goofed or I’m 2 days ahead. *shrug* Whatever. She’ll come when she comes. I have to get blood work for HIV testing (which I just did at 16 weeks but apparently the state has another mandatory one at 36 weeks. Whatev) Her fluid is good and her heart rate was 124bpm. I’m going to get another belly shot soon to post. Otherwise everything is fine. I’ve been getting slight cramping and extremely sharp pains when moving in certain ways. I also can’t lie on my back. It’s incredibly uncomfortable.
I managed to get the wedding playlist complete with Randy and our friend Melissa’s help last night. We have 4 hours worth of music of all varieties. Tomorrow Randy and I are going to mom’s to finalize everything and I’m going to bring stuff over to her house so we can have it all in 1 place. (And we need to do laundry). Colby is also getting his rabies shot tomorrow afternoon. Then we’re scheduling him to get neutered sometime soon.
I’m going to curl up in the corner of the couch now with my wireless keyboard, headphones, and so some voice transcribing to earn my goal of $15/day to cover the rent. Randy is up to 45 hours this week and if he gets OT today he’ll be up to 49 which is always nice but it gets lonely. Such is life.
