Her name is going to be Gracie Lynn Beverly Rumble. The Beverly has been added in due to wanting to recognize my grandmother. As much as I don’t want to admit it, she doesn’t have much time left and this is one way to pay tribute to her I think. My family likes it and Randy is definitely on board with the idea.

We had a good day today visiting with my family. We brought Colby out because mom is watching him while we’re at the hospital. I miss him terribly already. I went to take Randy to work and he went to call Colby. We both concluded we would be lost without him. Then we had mom take a pic on her cell and send it to us. My big baby boy. This house is so lonely at night without him. We decided to go to Applebee’s for dinner since we didn’t have to worry about Colby being home alone and used our gift card to have our last meal as a couple without Gracie being introduced to the world yet. It was quite yummy and I have leftovers in the fridge.

Since I’ve been home I managed to slide the dresser out of the way to sweep/swiffer/mop the bedroom and tackle the rest of it since Colby’s hair loves to collect, put all the dishes that were clean away and wash the dirty ones, wash and hang up a load of laundry, and tidy up any things out of place. I don’t want to come home to a mess. I’m doing ChaCha and almost 2 days ahead to compensate for not being able to while I’m at the hospital. Then I need to hop in the shower and catch a few zzzzz’s since I’m leaving at 5:30.

I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m scared. I can’t wait!

On Monday morning if the baby is not here I am going to be at the hospital at 7am for the induction. If my cervix hasn’t changed in condition he intends on using Cervidil for up to 8 hours if necessary before administering Pitocin. He actually doesn’t think I’m going to make it until Monday given the conditions changing in the 3 days so another 3 will probably yield even more progress. I’d be lying if I said the induction won’t make things incredibly convenient in regards to trasnsportation and schedules working out for Randy with him working 6 days a week and lately 12 hour shifts. He can’t drive and no one else is allowed on the maternity floor with the exception of him so I’m going to be alone if he’s not around immediately. I guess time will tell right now.

For now I’m off to go take him to work. Poor guy running on 4 hours of sleep with another 12 hour ahead of him. He loves his job though which is always a positive.

Many people have asked if I’m scared. I honestly am not scared. I’m excited for the experience. I know that child birth is something that happens when you get pregnant. There is no avoiding it so why stress over it? At the moment I’m having minor cramping but it’s really nothing new.

I think things are also a bit less stressed due to the hospital policy that only the birth coach or father may be in the room due the swine flu outbreak in June. For me this means Randy is the only one allowed in the room besides hospital personnel. The only sucky thing is that no one is allowed to visit after the birth either so it’s just me, baby, and him. No one will see her until we leave. The only negative to that is Randy is not taking off work unless I’m in labor during a shift so no keeping me company afterward. This will give Gracie and I time to bond though and I can have the lactation consultant come in as well to get tips on breast feeding since it’s something I feel very strongly about.

If labor happens, I’ll be updating twitter via my cell phone when I get the chance and if you’re in my contacts you’ll get updates that way as well.

I go back on Thursday morning bright and early at 9:15 to see if I have made any progress at all and to get another check on fluid levels. He mentioned a possible induction which is why he has me coming in so early but did not say for sure it’s happening. He’s not really pushing in any direction but monitoring my stats. My weight gain was 1lb and my BP is excellent as usual. I imagine Thursday my cell will be going haywire with texts again. Randy kept poking me though and the doc advised him to never provoke a pregnant woman. He told him I’d just get the tire iron from the trunk to which Dr. J replied that it’d be a bad idea because it’d go right through the skull. While checking my cervix he also told me he knew it was invasive but he wasn’t trying to reach my tonsils. Someone has a sense of humor. :-p

On a completely unrelated note I’m annoyed with something I read on someone’s journal online. It’s no one who I talk to directly or who will read this so no, it’s not you. She’s a mother to 2 boys and attends college part time while her husband works. They struggle like many of us do. Well a week or 2 ago she posted about not having food because her food stamp recertification didn’t go through and she had to re-file paperwork blah blah blah whatever it happens. She posted and someone mentioned she should post her paypal info. Again, no problems yet. Shit happens.

Today she posted that she almost overdrew her account but managed to cover the charge before the OD fee hit. Then later in the entry says her cable almost got shut off and she had to write them a check for $160 but there’s only $19 in there but she omg HAD TO do it because she can’t live without the TV on it’s just not normal and you can only talk to someone for so long before it’s eerie. Then posted her paypal link again.

W-T-F?! I’m usually not one to judge people especially when it comes to finances but WTF again? You have children you complain about having problems feeding and then beg people for money to pay your cable bill (and an overdraft fee you will encounter)? I can’t believe some people and where their priorities lie. I also was tempted to reply to her that since moving here (almost 2 months now) our TV was on for 2 hours. She obviously has a computer and high speed internet. Ever heard of hulu or a DVD player or *gasp* music from a radio or even mp3s? I can’t fathom how you can prioritize a $160 cable bill over penny pinching to buy milk/gas/other food which are essential for care of your children.

With that being said, I think I may go lie down. My sleep schedule today was from 8:00am-10:30am and then from 8:00-8:45pm. I’ve tried pillows between the legs, propping up, etc. Nothing works. My body is very anti me getting any type of significant sleep and I cringe in pain every time I get out of bed. Randy and I have been noticing he works close to 50 hours a week and I’m home all the time and he gets at least double the amount of sleep I do. Joy.

I look like crap and feel like it too. Today marks 40 weeks and little Miss. Gracie is showing no signs of appearing. She’s still quite high up it feels and there have been no changes in the TMI department. I’ve been having mild cramping but that is nothing new. Tomorrow I have a doc appointment at 1:45 where he’ll do my first cervical check at 40w1d. He hasn’t mentioned anything about inductions which I’m glad b/c I don’t want a doc pressuring me into anything. I’m just hoping that there has been SOME progress.

I’m sick of not being able to lay down without pain. I’m sick of my legs going numb in bed. I’m sick of not being able to sleep for an hour even without being uncomfortable. I’m sick of refusing my husband’s sexual advances because it’s not enjoyable for me but most of all?

I’M SICK OF THE FUCKING TEXT MESSAGES OF PEOPLE ASKING IF I’M IN LABOR YET. I swear I get like 5 a day. It’s SO FUCKING ANNOYING. You will KNOW when I am in labor because I will tell you. Until then, back.the.fuck.off. I’d probably be more patient if I wasn’t getting hassled every single day about it. I’m ready to throw my phone out the window or leave it off but then knowing my luck someone would show up at my door because my phone went to voicemail. Oh the horror. My MIL accused me of being moody earlier. I told her no I’m just fucking cranky outright. There’s no mood swing about it.

Surprisingly, I haven’t taken my rage out on anybody and now I’m going to go work on ChaCha for a bit and then maybe consider attempting a nap. We’ll see.

Randy’s working overtime tonight which isn’t surprising to me in the least. He likes money. I like the attitude he’s got about working to support myself and Gracie. I see FAR too many relationships built with lazy men mooching off of their women just because they can like Randy’s cousin. She worked until 3 days before her due date. There is NOTHING wrong with women working or both working but her boyfriend should have been working to help instead of lounging around while she supported both of them. It’s ridiculous. Randy and I are on the same page when it comes to me working. He wants me to stay at home with Gracie and he works to support us financially. I help out a bit with ChaCha and I do the majority of the housework. It’s equal to us as a trade off. I just hate seeing girls who do ALL of it such as Randy’s sister, cousin, and a few other people that we know personally. Ah well though. All I can do is live my life and appreciate that I have a good man who is on the same page when it comes to goals and ideals.

With that being said, I’m going to go try to earn the last few dollars on ChaCha before midnight’s monthly payoff cutoff and then organize some more baby clothes/do the dishes. I might decide to put some clothes on as well considering I’m sitting wrapped in a towel right now. There are some perks to being completely alone in the house. ^_^

I may be forgetting a few gifts since I’m so tired and overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to organize/put away but everything will get put to use. We also got an antennae because Randy and I are too cheap to pay for satellite/cable and I like my locals. (Football anyone?) Right now I’m doing some ChaCha while curled up with Colby trying to earn the last few dollars before the payoff cutoff at midnight tomorrow. We use that for rent and make up the difference with Randy’s income. This month I slacked due to the wedding and overall feeling like poo but I’ve made about 70% which is a lot better than 0 we both agree.

Back to the house we went where we gamed for like an hour before passing out at 7:15 because a certain someone hadn’t slept in a day and a half. We got 12 hours of sleep which was nice as well. Today’s another busy day though because him and Corey are going to go work on a vehicle which is their project while us women go and have a baby shower. It should be a good time I imagine. I just hope my back stops hurting soon because I tossed and turned all night. It is the story of my life lately. I’ve been having a lot of random cramps/pains so I’m beginning to think little Gracie is going to be here before her due date (1 week today!) which has no complaints from my end. I’m so over being pregnant.

I also need to do that whole house cleaning thing since my dishes need to be done and groceries I bought Friday have yet to be put away (All boxed/canned/bagged stuff, no worries) but I’m thinking it will be a project for tonight when he’s at work. We’ll see.

We raised concerns about the seizure to my gyno who called my neurologist who upped my dosage. Her heart beat was only 113bpm on my back but on my side she went up to 127bpm. He told me not to lie on my back and I told him I only do in his office. I hate laying on my back as it is incredibly uncomfortable. Thankfully her heart rate was fine otherwise he was going to send me to the hospital for a NST. My next appointment is Monday afternoon. I got my WIC today too which included $24 worth of checks for the farmer’s market. Now to decide what we’re going to get that we can eat before it goes bad. I’m thinking grapes and corn sound good, maybe some potatoes for soup. Eh, who knows.

For now Randy and I are about to go curl up in bed for a few before he goes to work. My foot is incredibly sore right now still and I feel exhausted. Ugh. :-\

Oh, Sarah asked why Randy and Carrie were only together for a month. Randy stole a 4 wheel giving him a grand larceny charge in early summer 06 and was sent to a halfway house. There he met Carrie in August of 06. They got married in Oct 06 and he told her to GTFO a week before Thanksgiving. He was drinking and stupid. Besides court, they haven’t seen each other since. Now things are much better. He doesn’t drink, smoke pot, or go around breaking the law. His nose is clean and he’s taking care of fines and legal obligations he may have caused in the past. She is a whole ‘nother situation and my definition of white trash. She’s lost custody of her illegitimate child multiple times due to neglect. (And I don’t think she knows who the father is still. She tried pinning it on Randy. Someone’s isn’t stupid enough to just believe her and demanded a paternity test. Ding Ding, NOT the father. Kthxbye)

Today was my 37 week checkup and everything is still going smoothly. One confusing thing is that my doctor always says I’m 2 days ahead of my original due date. I’m assuming he changed it when he read the 17 week ultrasound. If so, I’m due the 20th and not the 22nd. He said my platelet count is the best he has in his practice (TYVM iron pills). I kinda made a mess b/c as soon as he stopped the ultrasound I sat right up because I get horribly sharp pains in my lower sides when laying flat on my back and the gel got all over but that’s OK. He said he’d see me next week and then stopped and said “Unless she decides to make her appearance before then of course” That made Randy and I go woaaaaaaaah, this is for real. She is coming VERY shortly but who knows exactly when.

I’m really glad he hasn’t done any cervical checks on me. I don’t feel they’re necessary because you can be dilated for weeks before anything occurs. I’m trying for a natural birth with NO PICOTIN to speed things up. My body will do what it needs when it is good and ready thank you VERY much. I’m also hoping to avoid an epidural due to having seizures. There is an increased risk and I finally have them under control with medication. I don’t need any issues or distress during labor which results in a c-section.

And now it’s time to go work on ChaCha to help pay bills while Randy pulls his 3rd 12 hour shift in a row (mmm, overtime).