Dinosaur!

Overcoming my fear of tight spaces. We went down the enclosed slide together.

It was slated to start at 5. We didn’t even get over there until 5:30 and my aunt/sister wouldn’t be up until 7 due to distance/work while my other aunt/uncle took their sweet time. Most of the people there didn’t know it was a birthday party and instead figured it was a big get-together to drink. I was pissed off the entire time. I was starving, my uncle’s g/f was trying to put her 3 year old in the spotlight, and we didn’t even open presents until 7:30. Gracie laid in my dad’s lap for most of he present time ready to pass out. We didn’t even eat until like 8:15. Oh, and the cake I bought for her? Yeah we ended up bringing it back here with us for the next day. I pushed and pushed and finally we got to leave at 9:30.

At the “party” I spent half an hour on the phone with Randy bawling about what a disaster it was and letting him know how shitty I felt about it. She won’t know how it turned out but I do. The next day we did have her cake. She got a bunch of outfits, a drum, a few different shape building block type things, and a push toy that converts to a little sit on car. I hate describing kids toys.

We tried to get her to play in the cake but she was so tired by now. Ugh.

Cake I ordered for her

She actually dug into this one. It helps that it was in the afternoon.

Well Randy and I have had a few minor issues with our car for awhile but nothing that made it un-drivable, until a slip on slush had our ass end hit a curb at less than 5mph. Our unibody was so weak that it is now bent, aka, shot. So we began the hunt for a new vehicle. We surfed Craigslist for an hour or so and Randy called one and said I think I found one. We made arrangements to have his mom take us down (75 miles one way!) and made absolute certain we had all the stuff to transfer our current registration over so we could drive back. After the DMV we were the happy owners of a 1996 Chevy Blazer. About 10 miles down the road 1 of the brake lines blew due to it sitting for awhile and the pressure so it was ever so fun driving back with only front brakes, I tell ya. When all was said and done though we did make it back in 1 piece and now it is sitting in my driveway. Randy will be replacing the brake line tomorrow after work since he’s running on no sleep and needs rest before his shift tonight. It has a remote starter and brand new tires on it (less than 300 miles) and routine maintenance. We only paid $1,000 for it as well.

Gracie had her 4 month appointment tomorrow as well. She got her shots again and cried for all of 30 seconds. As soon as I handed her to daddy she was content. She is 24 inches long and weighs 13lb13oz. The doctor LOVED my cloth diapers. He had me show him how to use them (inserts in pockets) and then said he liked them and they were much better than disposables against the skin. Here is a picture I just took of her. My flash on my camera doesn’t work anymore (idk why) but it’s why pictures are few and far between now.

On daddy’s shoulder here

Randy insisted on this one because she looks purely evil he said

Today you are 2 months old. It’s hard to believe that I’ve been taking care of you for that long already. You’re already beginning to form your own personality and I’m very happy to say that daddy has become more involved with you now. We both love seeing you smile, coo, and stare at everything you can. You will often lay in bed with daddy while he watches cartoons and watch the different colors and movements. You’ve been a pretty happy baby lately.

You hold your head up for longer periods of time now and will bend your knees and then attempt to stand which is a surprise when you’re in my arms and try to jump out of them. You weighed 11lbs and 4 ounces at your 2 month appointment and 23 inches long. You got your first vaccines and handled them like a trooper. You cried for a minute or less and then snuggled with daddy. I think I was ready to cry myself. You seem to get incredibly frustrated when on your belly and can’t yet crawl but soon enough you will be able to.

You can still fit in newborn clothes although I’m going to begin packing some of the smaller items up. Cloth diapering is still going well with you as well. Your skin definitely knows the difference. You also had your first Thanksgiving but since you’re so young, you enjoyed breast milk instead of food. Next year you can enjoy some of the super yummy food with us.

You’re growing a lot more hair now and it’s beginning to stick up a lot. You also look more and more like your daddy every day, including his curse of big ears which I find adorable but he gets playfully teased about. We co-sleep with you and have no plans to transition you to a crib in the near future although we do need a bigger bed to fit you, me, daddy, and Colby. You love nursing to sleep but it’s a bit hard for mommy to do that due to big boobs so I get uncomfortable quickly but will stay that way if you go to sleep and stay that way. Mommy and daddy like sleep too.

Next month for Christmas we’re getting you a jumperoo to match your swing. It will be interesting to see you jump up and down and get to move a bit. I know you get bored. We look forward to seeing you grow and do new things each and every day.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

I barely slept Sunday night due to excitement from knowing what was coming. I picked up Randy from work and we went to the hospital where i was put into my room to get comfortable. They had me on the monitors right away, one on my upper stomach and one on the lower. They were annoying, to the max. They brought me breakfast which was surprisingly edible.

Dr. Jaeger came in about 9:00 or so to insert the Cytotek dosage. I was still 1.5-2cm dilated just like Thursday. He left and told me he’d be back around 1:15 or so to check up again. It was a boring waiting game until then. I was uncomfortable which was nothing due because the entire last month or so of pregnancy I wasn’t able to get comfortable on my back so being in that bed was no picnic. The monitors kept flipping if I was sitting straight up or anything. Randy’s mom was allowed to be there b/c the maternity ward had changed policy to allow fathers and immediate grandparents. Randy caught a cat nap on the floor in the corner while waiting since he worked all night.

The nurses were nice enough to bring him a recliner after that. At 1:15 Dr. Jaeger came back to do another dose and I was only 3cm dilated at this point. Cue annoyance. Randy’s mom left at about 2:00 or so with promise to return at 7pm or so. At about 2:30 I began getting contractions that were incredibly intense. I woke Randy up when I was lightly crying. Every since contraction during my labor was in my back. Every. single. one. The nurses moved me over to the labor and delivery room at about 3:00.

Once we got there I ended up getting an IV and a blood pressure cuff to annoy me as well. They asked about an epidural and previously I’d told them we’ll play it by ear but I asked for it. It took about 45 minutes or so before they showed up with contractions going full force the entire time. Randy held me while they attempted the epidural. The epi ITSELF wasn’t so bad but the back contractions at the same time made it torture since I couldn’t move. They stabbed me 5 times and guess who didn’t get numb? They managed to get my right side but the left was non existent to the drugs. What a waste I told myself.

I kept pushing through as the contractions got stronger but now they were all in my left side so the pain wasn’t even disbursed. This is when the nurses began pissing me off. They kept telling me to breathe which I was doing quite well but that yelling and whatnot weren’t going to fix anything. I was like wtf I’m doing what I’m supposed to and getting through them just shut the hell up. They tried the epi again at 6 with a different tech who surprisingly STILL couldn’t get my left side. Every injection went to the right. I was getting to the end of my rope here. I had now been poked 10 times in my spine and had no relief. They gave me Nubain via IV to try to take the edge off.

I kept sitting up to deal with the contractions and leaning forward but then got yelled at due to the monitors coming off and they claimed they needed to be able to monitor her heart beat. As soon as I was on my back I would start bawling/screaming. At about 7:40 I told them I felt like i needed to push. The nurses and Dr. came in and I was 9cm. He broke my water and I was told they would return in 5 minutes. The Nubain kicked in here not for pain relief but for utter chaos. I was watching the clock and time kept going and they STILL weren’t back. The contractions weren’t giving me any break in between now. I was screaming, crying, and talking over and over in circles. I fell asleep sitting up for about 10 seconds while Randy held me. I remember saying over and over that they were supposed to be back so I could push and they wouldn’t let me and I wanted to. This was for about a 1/2 hr straight. The nurses didn’t even get on me about the monitors at this point because you could’ve sworn I was dying here. My blood pressure went crazy here. I was hyperventilating from frustration and pain all mixed together. I ended up both urinating and defecating multiple times during the later contractions/labor and didn’t give a rat’s ass.

At 8:30 the nurses gave me the OK to push and they put me in stirrups even though I initially told the Dr. I wasn’t going to push on my back. I didn’t care by this point. I wanted her out. I pushed and pushed. They got the Dr. in there and I had to stop pushing because omg he didn’t have his stuff ready so I sat for about a minute with her right there. He lubed me up so I wouldn’t tear he kept telling me. I remember telling him to hurry up already. Once she was there I’d say 3-4 pushes and she was out. The relief was amazing. I got all cleaned up and they gave me an IV of Pitocin to deliver the placenta but I didn’t even feel anything. The pushing is all on video tape so I was able to show my mom who was so sick she couldn’t be at the hospital. It’s something I’ve got forever now.

She was 7lbs, 13oz. She was born at 9:10pm and during most of my pushing we had House MD on the TV (haha). She was 20 1/2 inches long at 41w1d. The first cry to hear was amazing. Randy and his mom brought mcdonald’s after labor (haha) cuz they were hungry. She got to stay with me the entire hospital stay besides her newborn screening which was like 10 minutes. She left the hospital at 7lbs 8oz. Breast feeding is ok for the most part. There are times when she won’t latch and my nipples aren’t cooperating. It’s taxing on both of us.

Randy and I discussed what I would’ve/will do differently next time: No induction due to that being the reason for the strong contractions, no epidural because I’m not taking the chance of it not working again, no IV pain meds b/c their function just made things worse overall, labor at home as long as possible so I can be in ANY position I want during the contractions. I think my labor would’ve been easier if they would’ve let me walk around like I wanted to. Those monitors made it difficult/impossible. Everything is going well though with both Gracie and I. Pain is minimal (only at the epi injection site) and everyone is in love with her. She has my face shape and my pout when she’s upset but Randy’s ears, mouth, and facial expressions.

More pics can be seen on my Flickr. Thanks for all the encouragement, support, and well wishes everyone!

I look like crap and feel like it too. Today marks 40 weeks and little Miss. Gracie is showing no signs of appearing. She’s still quite high up it feels and there have been no changes in the TMI department. I’ve been having mild cramping but that is nothing new. Tomorrow I have a doc appointment at 1:45 where he’ll do my first cervical check at 40w1d. He hasn’t mentioned anything about inductions which I’m glad b/c I don’t want a doc pressuring me into anything. I’m just hoping that there has been SOME progress.

I’m sick of not being able to lay down without pain. I’m sick of my legs going numb in bed. I’m sick of not being able to sleep for an hour even without being uncomfortable. I’m sick of refusing my husband’s sexual advances because it’s not enjoyable for me but most of all?

I’M SICK OF THE FUCKING TEXT MESSAGES OF PEOPLE ASKING IF I’M IN LABOR YET. I swear I get like 5 a day. It’s SO FUCKING ANNOYING. You will KNOW when I am in labor because I will tell you. Until then, back.the.fuck.off. I’d probably be more patient if I wasn’t getting hassled every single day about it. I’m ready to throw my phone out the window or leave it off but then knowing my luck someone would show up at my door because my phone went to voicemail. Oh the horror. My MIL accused me of being moody earlier. I told her no I’m just fucking cranky outright. There’s no mood swing about it.

Surprisingly, I haven’t taken my rage out on anybody and now I’m going to go work on ChaCha for a bit and then maybe consider attempting a nap. We’ll see.